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Welcome to the HUMOR Section:

Why a humor section?  

Click Here to read "Anatomy of a Laugh"
and you will see the value of  a smile and a laugh.

Relax, stay a while, and enjoy!


mouse reading newspaper in chair with cat rug
big dog on exploded looking sofa with no clue as to how it happened

Humorous phrases


THINGS TO THINK ABOUT.


   How can batteries die?

   Why are buildings called buildings when they are finished?
   Shouldn't they be called builts?

   Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

   Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

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DID YOU KNOW?

   It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

   A shrimp's heart is in its head.

   People say, "Bless you," when you sneeze because when you sneeze
   you heart stops for a millisecond.

   No word in the English language rhymes with month, silver, or purple.  

   Did you hear about the man who couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on the phone.

------------------------------------------------------------

   I just bought a cured ham.
   Wonder what it had?


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humorous unhappy cat yelling we are getting a new dog


Telling the truth

   A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time. At the roulette table she said,
   "I have no idea what number to play."

   A young, good-looking man nearby suggested that she play her age. Smiling and blinking her
   eyelashes at the man, she put her money on number 32. The wheel was spun and 41 came up.
   the smile drifted from the woman's face and she fainted.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Who is it?

   From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island, and he is shouting
   and desperately waving his hands.
   "Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain."
   "I have no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad."

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Logic 101

   1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

   2. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the
      British or Americans.


   3. Conclusion. Eat what you like. It's speaking English that's killing you.

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you have never lived sign


Logic quiz

   "It's time to see how clearly you can think," the teacher said to his class.
   "Now, listen carefully, and think about what I'm saying. I'm thinking of a person
   who has the same mother and father as I have. But this person is not my brother or sister. Who is it?"
  
   The kids in the class furrowed their brows, scratched their heads and otherwise showed how
   hard they were thinking.
  
   The kids in the class furrowed their brows, scratched their heads and otherwise showed how hard they were    thinking.  But no one came up with the right answer.

   When everyone in the class had given up. the teacher announced. "The person is me."

   Little Jeffrey beamed at learning the answer. "Thant's a good one," he said to himself. "I"ll have to try that on Mom and Dad while we're eating dinner tonight.

   That night little Jeffrey repeated the riddle to his parents. "I"m thinking of a person who has the same mother and father that I have,'he said. "But this person isn't my brother or sister.
Who is it?"


   His parents furrowed their brows, and scratched their heads and otherwise pretended they were thinking hard.
   After a while they both looked up at Jeffrey and said, "We give up. Who is it?"

   It's my teacher!" Jeffrey shouted.


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dog line waiting to use tree as bathroom

How can you live without knowing these things?

   Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the U.S. Treasury.

   Coca-cola was originally green.

   111,111,111X111,111,111=12,345,678,987,654,321

   If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died
   in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds
   received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

   Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.


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   Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

   A. They were all invented by women.


i am married humorous joke


Is This Really True?
American Airlines hung missiletoe
over the baggage conveyor so you can kiss
your baggage goodbye. 


  
Resource: Petersen Ministries
http://petersen-enterprise.com/  and  http://petersen-ministries.com/
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